Looking over this last year of writing, I’m pretty dang proud of what I’ve accomplished. Between this blog and ashtree.systems, I’m at 26 posts in total. The quality of my writing has definitely improved during that timespan–my writing projects from the previous year are mostly incomprehensible to anyone but me.
At the same time, I see my focus shifting wildly throughout the year. First I wanted to build co-living laboratories, then luxury co-living in the Bay Area. I wrote about sending humans to interstellar space last December, before coming back to Earth to talk about tradhumanism and the associated anti-transhumanist values I hold. This culminated in an interest in Eternal Agriculture, which was an obsession of mine for a couple of months. Yet: my interest waned, moved onto other topics before I planted a single seed. My attention moved to online pursuits, building a static blog generator, an authentication mechanism using Urbit, and a proposal for digital cities. I’ve worked on code for the latter, but lacking residents have not gotten far. Vitalism struck me, getting a chapter of an untranslated German work translated and writing more on the topic. Finally I returned to space, suggesting the cosmos recreate themselves, and that we should build probes to spread life.
I have wanted with each of these subjects to act, and with each of these subjects my thoughts have been ahead of my hands. My mind buzzing away I wrote, read about subjects, turned problems in my mind, and remained mental. Meanwhile my physical environment and body has suffered for it. I have simply not paid enough attention to either of them, handicapping my potential for act in the first place.
I need a break not so much from writing, but from abstraction. I enjoy being here in the digital realm sculpting words and code too much! To truly construct any of these dreams that I have requires dedicated non-abstract effort. It is this impulse that I need to train, not word-crafting.
It’s time for me to take a break from dreams.